That's WHO?

So, yesterday was our 28 week check-up and ultrasound appointment. I was nervous beforehand, because I hadn't felt much movement from the girls for a couple of days. At the last ultrasound appointment, I was told that Baby A (Katherine, or Katie for short) was all tucked up underneath my ribcage on my right side, and that Baby B (Olivia, or Livvy for short) was all stretched out and comfortable on her side, the left side of my body. So, of course, I've taken to talking to them throughout the day:


"Livvy, quit pushing your sister around."


"Katie, Honey, are you okay? I haven't felt you kick all day!"


"Livvy, I'm going to call you the Bully of the Womb."


"Katie, Sweetie, don't let your sister push your around. Make room for yourself."





As you can tell, in my mind their personalities were already forming, and I was already "in the know" about how my girls would be in life: Katie is the sweet older sister, well behaved and reliable. Olivia is confident and aggressive in what she wants in life; fun and crazy. All my little fantasies revolved around these facts.


All from a 26 week ultrasound.


Well, guess what? Yesterday, we went for the 28 week ultrasound, and the technician starts telling me how Baby A (remember, that's Katie!) is on my left side, and is all spread out and nice and comfortable, and Baby B (Livvy!) is all scrunched up on the other side, trying to find more room for herself.


What?!?!?! Am I crazy? I thought it was the complete opposite! I know that's what she said last time. Now I don't know my girls at all. Everything I thought about Katie is not true, and everything I thought about Olivia is the opposite. My poor sweet Livvy!


I know some of you will think that I can just switch Livvy to Baby A, and Katie to Baby B. Well, that's just not happening! Baby A will be born first, and will have my mother's name as her middle name and my sister and brother-in-law as her Godparents, and Baby B will have my mother-in-law's name as her middle name, and my sister-in-law and her husband as her Godparents. This has all been determined. We can't switch that now! We won't!


So, now I have to start all over again, trying to learn about my daughters.


And, what happens in 2 weeks, at my 30 week check-up? Is she going to switch it up again? My poor children are going to be born with identity crises, and my husband is already telling me I'm a bad mother for not being able to tell my twin daughters apart.


Great...just something else to worry about!

I gots nothing to say!

This is a shocking statement! If you know me at all - whether it be now, or if you knew me as a kid, teenager or young adult, you also know that I like to talk. A lot. I've never had a quiet or shy stage. I have always had something to say.

But believe it or not, I haven't been posting lately because I just have nothing to say!

Today I hit my 28th week of pregnancy. So far, so good. (knock wood) I really have no complaints. I have a lot of heartburn (I'm expecting two full heads of hair!) and some pretty crazy hip pain while I'm sleeping, but I've pretty much gotten used to both and have learned how to live with them.

We go back to the doctor on Wednesday, and I can't wait to see the girls! They've both been very active the last few days, and I really love that. Alan told me yesterday that he's going to miss my belly after the babies are born, and I have to admit, I'm going to miss it, too! Of course, I recognize that if I go full term (which I am completely determined to do!) I will be much bigger by the time I deliver than I am now, and therefore may not feel exactly the same way by then, but as of today, my first day of my third and final trimester, I feel great and I love being pregnant.
I love feeling all of their little movements. It's not just kicks. It's the rollovers. A few nights ago, I was walking down the hallway towards our bedroom, where Alan was watching TV, and I felt the weirdest sensation. It scared me for a minute because I thought it must be a contraction, but when the sensation stopped, I looked down and my normally round belly had a big old point to it, down on the lower left side. It was the weirdest looking thing! I ran into my husband and showed him. He was like, "What is that?!?!" and we both just started laughing. I guess our baby was switching positions and left an arm or leg or something else just hanging out. It looked that way for about 5 minutes and then something shifted again, and my belly was back to its normal round self! Amazing!
I love being home during the day, just me, my English pointer, and my two lazy cats, and I get to talk to my little girls all day. I get to tell them what's going on in the world, and how much I love them, and how their father and I can't wait to meet them. I love when they kick me back, as if they know what I'm saying and they are responding.
I love how nice strangers are to me. The other day I was at the mall with my mother, and after having to walk up a broken escalator, I was a little tired and a little out of breath. I sat down at the make-up counter, while my mom bought some foundation, and without thinking about it, I rubbed my stomach to let the girls know that everything was okay, after all that strenuous activity. I didn't even realize I was doing this, and that I was off in la-la land daydreaming about my children again, when I looked up and caught the eye of a gentleman around my age, who saw me rubbing my very pregnant belly and mouthed the words, "Are you alright?" "Yes, thank you. I'm just fine, " I said back with a huge smile on my face. How sweet!
I just love being pregnant!!
I still can't believe I'm going to be a mother soon. I guess that's how all expectant mothers feel. It's just for all the other craziness of my life, the one thing I've always known without a shadow of a doubt is that I wanted children. A whole bunch of 'em! And to think at 36, my dreams are about to be realized, that's pretty powerful. I feel so happy and content. Life is good!
Well, I have to get to bed. It's late and my babies need some sleep.
Guess I had more to say than I realized! :)

Laziness

I don't know if it's lazy days of summer, or lazy days of pregnancy, but these days without question I am L-A-Z-Y!!

I mean, don't get me wrong. I've never been the most motivated person in the world. I've always been more "experience" driven than task or goal oriented. Hence, the fear regarding becoming a mother and - even more scary for me - a homeowner! Responsibility has never been my strong point, nor has commitment.

Did you ever watch the show "The New Adventures of Old Christine"? There was a really funny episode last season about how Christine (played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus) never finishes anything she starts. My favorite part was when her brother unearths some plaque or something that Christine had made. It read, "Bless this Ho". Of course, she explains, she never finished it. It should read, "Bless this House". I love it. Sooooo me!!

If only I could even name all of the things I have started with complete and total enthusiasm, only to get bored a minute and a half later!! You wouldn't believe the list! ADHD, perhaps? Or is it OCD? I don't know...probably one of those acronyms.

Anyway, these days it is worse than ever. I just can't seem to get anything accomplished! I know, I know. The kind people of the world will tell me to relax, it's okay. I'm 6 months pregnant with twins. I should be tired. It's to be expected. Blah, blah, blah.

True, perhaps. But what about all the wonder women out there who seem to be able to do it all? Regardless of children, pregnancy, major life changes, or anything else that gets thrown in their paths. Surely not everyone can be as bad as me!! I mean, other people actually get things done, don't they?

These days, I should be packing for our move, researching and shopping for a minivan, finishing my registry, picking out the babies' furniture, deciding what we're doing to the townhouse before we move in, picking out paint colors, cleaning and discarding things we don't need, balancing the checkbook, going food shopping, writing in my blog every day, writing in my pregnancy journal every day, taking lots of pictures of my pregnancy, posting said pictures online, doing my yoga, doing my kegals, finishing the scrapbook I started, flossing my teeth every day, feeding the dog and giving him fresh water every day, giving the same dog his pills for his infected anal glands every day, cooking dinner for me and hubby. . .

(Speaking of, Thank God for my wonderful husband!! He makes life much easier, and gladly picks up the slack for me, although he actually works for a living and therefore often comes home tired and hungry and sometimes even expecting food, if not on the table, at least in our home. Somewhere. Like a can of soup even. Yes, I know it's the dead of summer, but what can I tell you? I'm lazy!)

I can't seem to bring myself to do any of these things. At least not to completion, or every day as required. One major activity a day appears to be my limit. Today, I had my parents drive me all the way to Cherry Hill (about 50 minutes away) to see a diaper bag that I found online. (BTW, I LOVED it!) I basically hung out in bed 'til I had to get up and shower (at least I'm still doing that daily!) so I'd be ready for them to pick me up at 2pm. We drove there, checked out the bag, added it to my registry, and then left. On the way home, we stopped to eat (also something I've been able to do A LOT of every day. Yes, I know I said I have no food at home, but takeout is great, and so is Mom's cooking!Thank God for her, too!) and as soon as I got home, I crawled into bed. It was 6pm.

The only reason I'm awake right now is because my dog had to be walked. (This is one of those tasks I have definitely tried to pass off on Alan. I don't think it's so much because I'm lazy, but because the damn dog pulls me all over the place these days, and I simply cannot control him anymore. Or at least, don't have the energy to try). Ever since then (about 8pm), I've basically been on the computer, reading other blogs, playing on Facebook, just basically surfing through the Internet.

As we all know, it's a favorite past time for the lazy! ;)

Twin GIRLS??

I have been teasing my husband for weeks about his initial reaction upon hearing the news that the twin babies we are expecting are both girls. However I have a confession to make. My own first thoughts upon hearing this revelation weren't all joyous. But let me tell Alan's story first:

He had sworn up and down that we were having 2 boys. He was just so sure of it. His mother and I both thought that it was one of each, but Alan was completely convinced that he had produced 2 little men. So much so that I even started to feel a little bit sad at one point thinking that I might not be carrying a girl. About 2 days before that fateful 13 week ultrasound, his father came out and declared that he believed that we were having 2 girls. 2 Girls?!?!? That never even crossed our minds. My father-in-law, however, has quite a reputation for his accurate predictions when it comes to family members and the sex of their babies. Still, I thought for sure he was off on this one.

So, when I took my mother-in-law to the ultrasound, we were both stunned and amused when the technician told us that it was indeed 2 girls. We were both quite giggly when we left the hospital where the ultrasound was performed and drove directly to my husband's work. When I said to him, "Guess what we're having?" He of course replied enthusiastically, never doubting himself, "2 boys!"

"Wrong...2 girls," I said.

I swear all the color drained from his face, and he just slouched back in his seat. Eyes cast downward, he mumbled something that sounded like, "Girls? What am I going to do with girls?" To make matters worse, this just meant that his father was right again. Nothing that any one of us wanted to admit!

His defense then became that the 13 week ultrasound was too early to accurately determine the sex of each baby. He had plenty of people to support this argument. At that point, he decided that the sonographer had really only taken a "guess" and therefore we still did not actually know the sexes of our babies. Anytime he caught me referring to them as "the girls" or telling people we were having twin girls, he always corrected me, saying, "We don't know that yet. The verdict is still out."

Finally, the 20 week anatomy ultrasound came up, and fortunately he was able to take off work to come and see for himself. My parents came, too. We had a different sonographer for this ultrasound, but once again she looked at each baby one at a time, and declared each of them a girl. A-ha!! My husband heard it with his own ears this time, and even saw it with his own eyes. Sorry! No penises! He could deny it no longer!

Now, in defense of my husband, I have never for a moment doubted that he will make an outstanding father. He currently has 3 nieces and 3 nephews (including the ones that he has inherited through our marriage) and they all love him. I would even go so far as to say especially the girls. And he would like me to make it very clear that he is ecstatic about having 2 daughters. He doesn't want them to ever read this post and be crushed by the idea that their daddy, who they no doubt will by then be absolutely head over heels in love with and adore more than any other (including me!), really wanted sons the whole time we were expecting them.

I personally think our girls will be confident enough to be able to laugh at the idea of their dad being stressed about their impending arrival. I think they will be so well loved that they will have no question as to whether Alan is indeed fulfilled by the children that he was blessed with. I just like to take whatever moments I can to poke fun at my dear husband, and since he does the same to me, I have no doubt that our daughters will enjoy the chop busting as well. Life has enough tragedies. We all need to laugh at ourselves, right?

Now, as for my confession, although my mum-in-law and I were giggling about the announcement on our way to see Alan at work, as I've already mentioned, the truth is that some other thoughts were running side by side with the giddiness.


Thoughts like memories of my own teenage years. Recollections of skipping school, sneaking out of my parents' house in the middle of the night, smoking cigarettes, and drinking beer. And, of course, memories of boys....lots of boys, and all kinds of boys, but mostly bad boys. Long hair and no thoughts or plans for the future. Oh my goodness!! TIMES TWO??

(Just as a side note, in case you're wondering... I turned out okay! I mean, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, and I still haven't completed my college degree, but I am still determined to do both! And I never wound up in jail, or rehab, or in a loveless marriage with someone who did wind up in one of these two places. Although I can't speak for any of those aforementioned bad boys from my youth. I thankfully lost touch with all of them! In fact, I did end up with a true English gentleman, who, although he did have his share of "fun" growing up, still ended up a nice, polite man who loves family - mine and his both - and is a real rule follower. He actually believes that it is better to ask permission than to beg for forgiveness, if you can believe that!!!)

Then I started picturing Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. Sure, they're rich and famous, but, boy are they a mess. Is this what my future held?


My heart was starting to palpitate. TWO GIRLS?!?! What had I gotten myself into?

Of course, some time has passed since that initial bulletin. I am now entering into my 24th week of pregnancy. I've had some time to get used to the idea of having 2 daughters right off the bat. Somehow, I've convinced myself the old adage is true about two "square" parents producing a "circle" child, and two "circles" producing a "square". My parents were and are definitely two squares, and my husband and I definitely are NOT. So perhaps there is hope for us that our girls will be old-fashioned, conventional, conservative, and, well, square, even through their teenage years. It's possible, right?

I refuse to think about the time at St. Augustine's Grammar School when my religion teacher, Mrs. Scanlon, told us the story about the trouble she had given her parents while growing up. Her mother used to shake her finger at her and say, "God help you. You're going to have one just like you!!"

Years later, when her oldest daughter was giving her a hard time, she used to shake her finger at her and say, "God help you. You're going to have 10 just like you!!"

My mother never cursed me like that (although God knows I remember a million times when she should have!), but I can't help but wonder if God is looking down on me and laughing, thinking, "Your turn is a-comin'!"